blog7

​For this project, I didn’t choose any verbs because I already had an idea for a video. I came up with this video idea when I had a panic attack one day and realized I didn’t know how to describe to my dad how I felt. I’m not very good with words, so I the closest thing I could come to was that there were bees and insects in my head, clouding my thoughts, and as much as I try to ignore it, it just gets louder, debilitating, and I have to confront it. I have a hard time explaining things with words, and I’m no filmmaker, but I feel like I’m more efficient in explaining things like this, visually. I wanted to show what severe daily anxiety felt like. I wanted it to be somewhat abstract in that way. To make this video, it was pretty simple. I filmed a few shots of the dead grape ravine in my backyard, as if someone had just appeared there like in the beginning of a dream, confused and alone. Each scene with the ravine gets more and more chaotic and panicky, so I just waved the camera around, ran in circles with it, and probably concerned my neighbors in the process. For the bees, I actually happened to have a video I took of a cluster of bees from June, so I just used that. To film the shots of myself, I had a horribly misorganized set up of half my room moved to one side, pictures taken off my wall, and a tripod and lights shakily set up on my bed. For the bottle of dead bees, I have an odd interest in collecting things and that was just something I had conveniently laying around. I filmed it all by myself. I actually re-filmed the whole thing a few days after the original because I didn’t like it. I hope I got my idea across in the video, and I hope that it doesn’t just seem like some random dumb video. I’m personally pretty happy with it, and it’s a big deal to me because I don’t feel very secure showing my weird art ideas, especially if my face is in it.