Why do I bother? It would be much better for me if I didn't, but here I am, doing it again.

This series is about the conflicting and overwhelming feelings of being in love with an abusive person. The paintings embody the initial happiness and contentment falling into pain, violation, and in the end, a somber acceptance of the reality that abuse can never become love.

The mailboxes follow the real events of sending out a package and receiving nothing back. The mailbox was desperately checked everyday for weeks. I thought with this one last act of love, that it would change the months of behavior that led up to that point. The bigger picture of abuse and violation became clearer, and after much grief, I finally settled on acceptance, and closed the mailbox.

The weeks of waiting depicted in the paintings is also representative of the nineteen months I knew this person. The mailbox is the connection between us. It shows his lack of love for me, my pain for him, and is the vessel for our feelings for each other.